Two's a crowd?

So this is what my house sounds like on a daily basis:

"He got (breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack) first!"
"She got more than me!"
"I wanted that _____ (cup, plate, fork, toy, chair, anything)!"
"We read his story first last night!"
"It's my turn to turn out the light!"
"I wanted to sit in the front of the basket!"
"I'm the leader!" "No, I'M the leader!"
"It's mine!"

And then of course, the favorite:
"THAT'S NOT FAIR!!"

Sheesh, whoever said 2 kids was a good idea! I know, I know, it's good they're having all these battles, helps them learn how to deal with different personality types and be successful in the world, but come on - I'm going nuts over here! Anything and everything that can be argued over will be, and it seems that there's nothing I can do about it. Time to go read "Siblings Without Rivalry" again...